All I Could Have Been

I miss it. All the time. No matter what my life has come to these days. I'm always wanting what I had. All day. Every day. 

 

How are you supposed to know if you were waiting too long or if you gave up?

I wish I knew.

The One.

Here's to You

"So.....My Love, as you will always be to me, here's to teaching me how big my heart actually is, to how magnificent it is to feel that love reciprocated and to our journey, together and now apart...."

 

Here  is the rest of the entry. It is way too familiar and unfortunately much more positive than the story we wrote for ourselves. But it still touches close to home.

Peace and confusion.

i'm finding my peace. and forgiving myself for those things i've never done.

willy tea taylor 
"cattleman"


I love this quote. I just wish this was true for me. Life is such a rollercoaster. So many ups and downs, back and forths...I wish I could just keep myself consistent. Happy as ever (am I or was I just convincing myself?) and really believing i'm finding peace. Really forgiving myself. Then all of a sudden I feel back to square one again. I feel vulnerable and confused. Am I just having a bad day/week or is this legit? Am I supposed to listen to my gut or is this just a moment of weakness that will soon pass? I have to ask myself these questions a lot lately. I envy those who are that in tune with their emotions and really know who they are and what they want.

There's so many things I miss, so many things I wish I had done differently. Isn't it funny how you can look back and forget all the bad? All of a sudden things were great, things could have been fixed with a snap of a finger. 

Like I said, vulnerable and confused.

So once again, i'll wait it out and see where that gets me. I'll find peace. I'll rid of my regrets. I'll get there, one day. 

Stars.

 

The type of thing that makes your chest tight and your heart hurt.

Details in the Fabric